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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reaction is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {